Tuesday, April 1, 2008

The Diagnosis*

After many years of my condition worsening, I finally have a diagnosis. It is irreversible, it's not treatable. It's cephalasievaloma. Basically, bit by bit, day by day, my brain is turning into a sieve. I drop in the pieces of information, they fall out the other side. I can't find my glasses, forgot to mail a check, and desperately wish I could remember where I saw that recipe for those choolatey cookies with the sparkly sugar bits. Was it in a cookbook? One of my own or one I borrowed from the library? Or, worse yet, was it on a blog? If so, I'll never find it!

Worst of all is when my brain fluffs go public. It makes me so a) angry, b) frustrated, c) humiliated, or d) all of the above, to learn I've left out ingredients or instructions on a blog recipe. Well, it's d) all of the above. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten a nice note saying something like, "You recipe looks great. I'd love to try it, but at what do you do with the pound of marshmallows? The recipe never says." Or, "Honey gravy sounds good, but you don't have honey listed in the ingredients. How much do you use?" Arggghhhhh!

But the one thing my condition has taught me is that if I'm not perfect, I really shouldn't expect others to be. Therefore, I extend grace to others when this occurs. Even in a cookbook. Even in Baking. Yes, Baking, the holy grail of kitchen bliss has an omission. I finally got around to making the Whopper cookies that my husband has been asking for since I got the cookbook last year (Bad wife, no biscuit!). I made the dough and then couldn't find the oven temp. I reread the recipe. Twice. Then had my husband look it over. Still no go. So I did an internet search. Aha, mine wasn't the only copy without that vital information. I'd like to say that I took the recipe before it and the recipe following it and averaged the baking temp from them, because that sounds fun, but I actually got it from an online chat.

So, if you want to try one of my recipes, read it through first. And if you have questions, drop me a line. And if I've blown it, I apologize in advance. But I do feel a little better knowing it can happen to Dorie, too.

These cookies turned out wonderfully, full of malt and chocolate flavor, with little pockets of chocolate chunks. They soften up as they're stored, which I think is a good thing. Also, I've tried Malteasers and think they are better than Whoppers, so if you have access to those, use them instead.

Chocolate Malted Whopper Drops
-adapted from Baking - from my home to yours by Dorie Greenspan

1-1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup malted milk powder (or Ovaltine)
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1-1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1 stick plus 3 Tbsp unsalted butter at room temperature
2/3 cup sugar
2 large eggs
1 tsp pure vanilla extract
1/4 cup whole milk
2 cups (6 oz) Whoppers, coarsely chopped
6 oz bittersweet chocolate, coarsely chopped, or 1 cup store-bought chocolate chips or chunks

1- Position the racks to divide the oven into thirds and line two baking sheets with parchment or silicone mats. Preheat the oven to 350 deg. F.

2- Sift together the flour, malted milk powder, cocoa, baking powder and salt.

3- In a large bowl with an electric or stand mixer, beat the butter and sugar together on medium speed for about 3 minutes, until very smooth. Add the eggs one at a time, beating for 1 minute after each addition. Beat in the vanilla; don't be concerned if the mixture looks curdled - it will smooth out when the dry ingredients are added. Reduce the mixer speed to low and add half the dry ingredients, mixing just until they disappear into the batter. Mix in the milk, then the remaining dry ingredients, mixing only until they are incorporated. The batter will look more like fudge frosting than cookie dough - and that's fine. With the mixer on low, or by hand with a rubber spatula, mix in the malted milk balls and chopped chocolate.

4 - Drop the dough by rounded tablespoonfuls onto the prepared sheets, leaving about 2 inches of space between spoonfuls. The cookies will spread as they bake. Bake for 11-13 minutes, rotating the sheets from to to bottom and front to back after 6 minutes. When done, the cookies will be puffed and set but slightly soft to the touch. Let the cookies rest on the sheets for 2 minutes before using a wide spatula to transfer them to racks to cool to reoom temperature.

5 - Repeat with remaining dough, being sure to cool the baking sheets in between batches.

* The post date is April 1st. Happy April Fool's Day! But no foolin' on the cookies - they are really good.


Jennywenny said...

Oh dear, you got me, my mantra this morning has been 'its april fools day, dont fall for anything' and I thought oh gosh, this lovely cookie baking lady has a horrible condition. What an idiot!!

I love the look of these and I've been wanting to try them for a while. I love maltesers but I'll see what I find.

LyB said...

LOL! I seem to have the same condition! I just love Maltesers so this is going on my to try list for sure!

Aimée said...

I have a similar condition, Lynn. It's called 'baby brain' where I try to function on little sleep. Not fun!

Never had Maltesers, but love Ovaltine...

Sarah said...

Those sound delish!

Deborah said...

I've made these cookies multiple times - they are one of my favorites!

I'll have to check my book when I get home, but I'm pretty sure mine has the baking temp. How crazy!!

Peabody said...

You and me both. I can't seem to find my cell phone today. Grrr.
Oh and I screw up on writing recipes all the time. Of course it doesn't help that half the time I write them it is 3am. :)

Gigi said...

OMG Lynn you had me going! I was about to start the "Save The Cookie Baker Lynn Foundation". I had completely forgot it was April Fools Day! Great cookies!

RecipeGirl said...

I've been wanting to try this recipe for a loooong time! You've tried it, you liked it, and I will now try it :)

I found a mistake in a scone recipe of Dorie's that I made. Fire the proofreader!

VeggieGirl said...

Lynn, you had me going there for a minute!! Glad to hear that you ARE doing just fine; and I'm lovin' those cookies (good thing THOSE aren't a joke, because they look too good to be fake! haha).

Melinda said...

Ha! I thought the April's Fool joke was Dorie didn't really have a typo in this recipe.
I just readily accepted you are going daft as a brush! So sorry.
I saw this recipe in Dorie's book and thought it had your name all over it.
Those cookies sound so good right now. I could use a good handful and a glass of milk, and then see this day to bed!

Cakespy said...

The cookies look fantastic--and I have never heard of these non whopper candies! Must investigate!!

Baking Soda said...

Aargh...it took me so long to get it, I kept thinking omg all these people are not taking her serious.. poor Lynn.

Patricia Scarpin said...

Last week I got an email from New Zealand asking me about my doce de abóbora (butternut squash compote). I had mentioned the coconut on the list of ingredients but never wrote when to add it to the compote. :S
Good to know even Dorie can make those mistakes, I feel better now, Lynn! :)

Those cookies look so good! Your husband knows how to choose good recipes!

Patsyk said...

I've got those cookies marked to try... so, it's good to hear they turn out so yummy!

You had me going... as I didn't read this until the day AFTER April fool's! You got me!

Patsyk said...

I've got those cookies marked to try... so, it's good to hear they turn out so yummy!

You had me going... as I didn't read this until the day AFTER April fool's! You got me!

Brilynn said...

I love the whopper cookies, I made them a while ago and they were to die for.

If you really are looking for chocolately cookies with sparkly bits, was it these ones?

StickyGooeyCreamyChewy said...

You may have been fooling, but my brain really is turning to mush! ;)

I've been eyeing those cookies for a while too. I will definitly scout out some Malteasers. I like them a lot better.

Jessy and her dog Winnie said...

Lol. I was worried for a minute!

Gretchen Noelle said...

Where do you come up with some of these things!?! These look great, I have no idea if there are whoppers here or not. I try to avoid the candy aisle. :)

Melinda said...

(I think I spy a Cath Kidson tea towel! Cool.)

Vicarious Foodie said...

Whoppers are my favorite! Malts are my favorite! Now I can have them in a cookie! This is just too much.

Kevin and Katrina said...

Last week I made these Whopper cookies but I used Easter Robin Eggs from the Whopper company. That darn Easter Bunny can't seem to remember that the kids in this house don't like the Robin Eggs. They were pretty with the different colors in them AND the kids liked them and I used up the Robin Eggs!

Jacque said...

I am definitely trying these! thanks so much for posting them. I also appreciate your fun blog and sense of humor :) You can never get enough laughs.

katiez said...

Bad blogger; no biscuit!
(At least now I have the diagnosis....what was it again?)

MyKitchenInHalfCups said...

Yes, that's me! It's so nice to have a name for it but couldn't it have been something I'd have have a chance of remembering like Sievealoma.
You always make me laugh.
I hope I can have your grace, we do all make those mistakes. Sometimes the world is even better for it.

Hendria said...

I have seen so many wonderful recipes from this book..I am going to have to buy it soon. Great photos.. :)