You Think I'm Nuts? You Might Be Right

Insomnia sucks. I've been battling it for over two years. In that time I've had maybe a handful of nights when I slept through the night. I have no trouble getting to sleep (because I'm so exhausted), but at 2 or 3 am my brain goes into hyper-drive and the weirdest thoughts come out to play, pinging around in my brain like quarks in a particle accelerator.

This morning what I woke to was my brain having a conversation with itself. "What if, " it postulated, "you did a mash-up of The Hunger Games and The Dating Game?" "Yes," it answered, " you could have a group of teenagers fighting to the death for a chance to go out with..... Justin Bieber!"

So while weary me is just wanting to go back to sleep, my brain is planning out what The Hungry Dating Game would look like.

The volunteers (I'm unsure on the number - one from each state? an even dozen? ) would stand on their platforms around the cornucopia, eyeing the loot and eyeing each other. Would it be smarter to run, or should they dash in to get the goodies. And which to choose? The hair dryer? The eyeshadow palette? The curling iron (a lethal weapon, if you can find an outlet)? A safe bet would be the Prada backpack. It's bound to have some mascara that can be used to stab someone in the eye.

I'm unsure how the actual games would play out. There would doubtless be some horrific scenes of broken nails and hair pulling. But when the final cannon sounded, there would be one victor. And poor Justin Bieber would have to go out with a mass murderer. But, that's why his bodyguards make the big bucks, right?

Eventually I fell back to sleep, waking groggy and disoriented several hours later. At which point I'm bored with bed and get up to go do the Sudoku on the computer. And think about breakfast.

All week long we have eggs for breakfast. If you're a fat-o-phobe, it might give you heart palpitations to learn that I have 2-3 eggs fried in coconut oil every day, topped with butter. My son, when he's hungry will have 4, sometimes making them into an omelette with cheese. But he gets bored with eggs. So on the weekends I try to do something different. Today I'm going to make waffles. Lovely waffles with coconut flour and lots of eggs, so they're high in protein and won't give a blood sugar spike, followed by a carb coma. I'm going to make an extra big batch so that we can have leftovers (hopefully). Left-overs in waffle land mean (gasp!) sandwiches for lunch! My husband, the sandwich-o-phile, will be so happy.

Coconut Flour Waffles
 - adapted from Health, Home, and Happiness

1/2 cup melted coconut oil, butter, or ghee
1/2 cup coconut flour, sifted or sieved
12 eggs
1 Tbsp pure vanilla extract (read the label to make sure there's no added sugar)
1/2 salt
1 Tbsp gelatin

1- Preheat waffle iron. Grease it generously with coconut oil.

2- Mix all the ingredients in a large bowl. Allow the batter to rest for 10 minutes. It will thicken as it rests.

3- Pour batter onto the iron, using a spoon or small cup appropriate to the size of your waffle iron. Cook for 3-4 minutes, or until golden brown.

4- Serve with lots of butter and whatever else you choose. If you want to save some for lunchtime sandwiches, allow them to cool draped over the handle of a wooden spoon so they don't get soggy.