I'm Not As Random As You Think I Salad

If I were ever to design a personal coat of arms (you know, the kind that knights of old had on their shields) I think it would have to have a hummingbird in flight on a blue and pink checkerboard field with a KitchenAid mixer on the left and a Bernina sewing machine on the right. That would encompass my favorite colors, my favorite activities, and my mascot.

I love hummingbirds. They are breathtaking little miracles that quicken my heart whenever I see one, hovering over a flower or zooming across the yard. But that is not the only reason I'd choose one as my personal mascot. I see a bit of the hummingbird in me. Not that I toil from sun up to sun down to take in enough calories to sustain my meager body weight. (that, cough cough, is not an issue for me)

I am like a hummingbird in that I flitter. I flit from project to project, staying with one only long enough to generate a substantial amount of mess, then abandoning it as I find something new to try on a blog, in a catalog, in a store, or on Pinterest.  I love the giddy, fizzy feeling of dreaming up a new project, planning for it, purchasing supplies, all the while envisioning how wonderful the finished project will be. I can just picture how smoothly and neatly it will all come together. Then when the inevitable snag or hiccup arrises, I'm irritated (sometimes to the point of wadding it up and throwing it across the room) and quickly move the project from the active work space over to the tottering "to finish up later" pile, replacing it with whatever seems the most pressing or interesting at the moment.

For the last 3 years I've made it my New Year's goal to finish up projects before starting anything new. Specifically I have vowed to finish up the 4 quilt tops that lie in folded and forgotten ignominy beneath my work table in various states of "so close but not quite done." And how have those goals worked out for me? I think the fact that I can transfer the same goals onto the next year's Goals page in my journal without changing a word shows that something's not working.

Perhaps I've just taken on tasks that are too big and my interest wanes before I complete the project. More likely, though, the problem lies in my attention span. I can only focus on one thing for so long before I'm distracted (Squirrel!) by something else (Oooooh, shiny!) and want to turn my attention (what's for lunch?) to the next thing.

Hence the hummingbird.

The other thing I have in common with hummingbirds is my love for sugar. I know it's not awesome for me and usually I try to avoid it. But every once in a while I have to give in to the craving and bake something sweet. And hopefully I'm not distracted while I'm (there's a new Castle on this week?) reading the recipe so I don't forget something crucial. Like flour. Or salt. Or sugar. Not saying that's ever happened, just saying it's a possibility. (And those of you who can think of examples don't need to share them in the comments.)

Molasses cookies are always welcome in our house and these received an especially enthusiastic welcome. I'm sure the carb-deprivation contributed to the rave reviews, but even those friends who are still eating carbs enjoyed them and gave them big thumbs up. Soft, not too spicy, and they stayed fresh in the cookie jar for several days. I think this recipe is a keeper.

Molasses Ginger Crinkles
 - adapted from America's Best Recipes
makes about 4 dozen

1 cup sugar (I used organic cane sugar)
1/2 cup butter
3 Tbsp coconut oil
1 egg
1/4 cup molasses
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup white whole wheat flour
2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp ground ginger
1 tsp ground cinnamon

1- Preheat oven to 350 deg. F.

2- In a medium bowl, combine the sugar, butter, coconut oil, and egg. Beat well with an electric mixer at medium speed. Add the molasses and beat well.

3- In a small bowl whisk together the flours, baking soda, salt, ginger, and cinnamon.

4- Add the flour mixture to the sugar mixture and stir to combine.

5- Shape dough into 1-inch balls. Place on ungreased cookie sheets, about 3 inches apart. The cookies will spread as they bake, so leave space.

6- Bake at 350 deg. for 8-10 minutes, till the centers are just set. Cool the cookies on wire racks.

Baby Step #2

It was about 8 years ago that I first heard the words High Fructose Corn Syrup . A friend was complaining to another friend that she was sick of finding it in everything. My response was "Huh? WTF (What The France?) is HFCS?"

In case you've been in a cave and haven't heard about High Fructose Corn Syrup, here are a couple of things to know.

  1- Because the corn industry is heavily subsidized, a lot of corn is grown. Corn is the 4th cheapest ingredient in processed food after air, water, and salt. That's why it's in everything.

  2- Most of that corn is genetically modified. (If you're unsure what GMO means to your health, there's a lot of information out there about how bad GMO foods are for you .)

  3-  HFCS is made from corn syrup by an enzymatic process that changes glucose into fructose, which is sweeter. But the man-made fructose is not the same as that found in nature. In the body, the industrial fructose metabolizes into triglycerides and adipose tissue. Even though it's a sugar, it turns into fat.

  4- HFCS is the number one source of calories in the US diet.

  5- HFCS is linked to diabetes, obesity, and a host of other ailments. If you care about your health, you should not put this into your body.

This is just an overview. If you want to know exactly what HFCS does in your body, go ahead and do the research. Just be aware that when you Google it, the first hit you get is paid for by the corn industry and, not surprisingly, tells you what a vital part of a healthy diet HFCS can be.

So what do you do about it? Baby Step #2 is to start reading the label of everything you buy at the grocery store. You will be amazed. HFCS is really in just about every product out there. Breakfast cereals, yogurt, bread, canned ravioli, sausage......and on, and on, and on.

After you read the label, what then? Refuse to buy any product that has HFCS in it. And if there isn't a single brand without HFCS, either make it yourself or do without. I know this is kind of a big Baby Step. It may take you a while to get in the habit of label reading and to clear your pantry out of foods containing HFCS. I still occasionally will find a bottle of salad dressing or a can of something tucked in the back of my pantry that I sigh wistfully and pitch because it's contaminated with HFCS.

So what's the reward for taking your second baby step? A recipe! Lindsey at Northwest Backyard Veggie Patch was the first in line with her request, so here is the grain-free pizza recipe.

I adapted this recipe from Recipe Girl. Her's served 2-3 people and we love to have leftover pizza, plus often have a guest over on Saturdays, so I reworked it to make a larger pizza.

Cauliflower Crust Pizza
 - adapted from Recipe Girl
   makes 1 large pizza

Crust:
1 large head cauliflower
2 large eggs
2 cups finely shredded mozzarella cheese (or for a spicier pizza, try pepperjack)
2 tsp dried oregano
3 cloves garlic, minced (more if you love garlic)
1 tsp onion salt (which I don't have, so I used sea salt and threw in some extra garlic)

Toppings:
Pizza sauce (Your favorite recipe, or from a jar. Read the label to be sure there's no HFCS in it!)
1 cup finely shredded mozzarella cheese
Your favorite meat toppings (sausage, ham, bacon, etc.)
Your favorite veggie toppings (mushrooms, green peppers, olives, etc.)

1- Preheat oven to 450 deg. with a rack in the center of the oven. Spray your pizza pan with olive oil. Mine has holes in the bottom, so I covered it with aluminum foil and sprayed it with olive oil. If you'd rather avoid aluminum foil, parchment paper would probably work well, too.

2- In food processor with the grating disk with the larger grater holes, grate the cheese. (Or grate by hand.) Put the cheese into a bowl and set aside.

3- Using the grating disk with the smaller holes, grate the head of cauliflower.

4- Put the cauliflower crumbles into a microwave-safe bowl and microwave for 8 minutes on high, stirring once. Allow it to cool a bit. You can use this time to prep your pizza toppings.

5- Combine the cooled cauliflower crumbles with the eggs, 2 cups of shredded cheese, and spices. You can do this with a spoon or with your hands. Dump the mixture onto your prepared pizza pan. Spread and pat the mixture into a round crust. It will be thin. Don't fret if there are small cracks.

6- Spray or brush the crust with olive oil and bake for 15 minutes (or until golden). Remove the crust from the oven and turn the heat up to broil.

7- Spread the sauce on top of the baked crust, leaving a 1/2-inch border around the edge. Sprinkle the shredded cheese over the sauce and cover with your favorite toppings.

8 - Broil the pizza 3-5 minutes, until the toppings are hot and the cheese is melted and bubbly. Cut into 12 slices and serve immediately.

Because the crust isn't sturdy like a bready crust, you'll need to eat the pizza with a fork. Small price to pay for something that's so delicious and grain-free to boot!

Going Against The Grain

I've been getting some interesting feedback about our decision to go grain and sugar-free. The most often asked question is, "What do you eat??"

I understand that question. I've always been a carbaterian. A year ago I wouldn't have dreamed that it was possible to live without grains. I was one of the original Bread Baking Babes! Bread was a source of delight, comfort, and joy. So how am I doing without sandwiches, toast, pancakes, or bagels? Pretty well, actually.

In the 80's I jumped on the low-fat bandwagon. Thinking that 30% or less of the daily calories should come from fat, I attempted to shoehorn my favorite recipes into that magic formula. The results for the most part were….well, for lack of a better word, gross. My family really deserved better. Taking out the butter left cookies gummy and flavorless. Removing oil from salad dressings made them overly sweet. In fact, the secret to manipulating the magic formula was just to add more sugar. That made the carb calories a greater percentage than the fat calories, so it was good for you. Right? Actually, no, the pay off for all that nasty food was that I got fatter.

With the current weird eating plan that we're doing we are eating quite well. I often wish that I was an awesome photographer who could grab my camera and get off several mouthwatering shots before we sit down to a meal. Then I'd have something to blog. But, alas, my family devours the meals before there's a chance to even get out the camera, let alone set up a nice backdrop and pretty props. But just so you know that we're not starving, here's a sample of things that have been on the menu in the past couple of weeks.

~ Eggplant Parmesan (surprisingly delicious. I was dubious about using eggplant, but it turned out wonderfully, packed with flavor.)

~ Crepes with Ham and cheese sauce  (yes, you can make grain-free crepes)

~ Bacon, Avocado, and Tomato Salad.  (my family loves this so much they fight over the leftovers the next day.)

~ Garlic Chicken with Artichoke Hearts ( quick, easy, and tasty)

~ Pizza with Cauliflower Crust ( smelled heavenly in the oven and tasted just as good)

~ Chicken Piccata  (an adaptation of one of my favorite chicken recipes)

As you can see, we're not starving. And, in case you were wondering, we're not all getting fat. But weight loss wasn't the motivation for doing this different way of eating. Mainly, my motivation is my son. He's been a hard-core sugar addict and I want to get his blood sugar levels evened out and see if that can help his behavior and cognitive abilities. He's a bright boy, but some days I wonder what the weather is like on the planet he inhabits, because it certainly isn't the same one I'm on.

So while I'll make occasional grain and/or sugar treats for the husband and other child, I don't allow them for my son. And I don't want him to be sad or resentful that everyone else gets treats. So I make these. Chocolate, nuts, cacao nibs, coconut oil, and cranberries make it a healthy treat. They're a wonderful small indulgence that doesn't break the rules (much) and it's totally worth it to have a happy boy who still gets to have dessert. 

As you read through the recipe and look at the pictures, you might be thinking that they don't match. Well spotted. The pictures I took from my first time making the bark, just as the recipe directed. Then I tinkered with the recipe and got it just the way we like it.

Chocolate Freezer Bark

 - adapted from Primal Blueprint Quick and Easy Meals

3-1/2 oz. dark chocolate (70% cacao or above), coarsely chopped

1 cup coconut oil

handful of slivered almonds

handful of cacao nibs

handful of dried cranberries

1- Set a heatproof bowl over, not in, a pan of simmering water. Place the chocolate in the bowl and stir occasionally until the chocolate is melted and smooth.

2- Remove the bowl from the heat and place it on a towel. Scoop the coconut oil into the bowl and stir until the coconut oil is dissolved. Stir in the rest of the ingredients.

3- Using a small cookie scoop, divide the melted chocolate between 24 mini muffin wells. Make sure there's an equitable distribution of the goodies. Place the filled tin into the freezer. Let it chill until the chocolates are solid, about 2 hours. When chilled, remove the chocolates to a zip-loc bag and store in the freezer.  (I use a non-stick mini-muffin pan and the chilled chocolate pops out super easily.)

* If you'd like a recipe for any of the menu items I listed above, leave a comment to that effect. I will post the recipe that is most requested, possibly even with pictures! But no promises.  

What is Healthy?

I've been thinking about this question for a long time. I've wanted to blog about my thoughts, but it's such a big topic that I think I'll have to break it into chunks. These thunks (thoughts + chunks) may or may not have recipes and pictures. I hate to post without those because this is, after all, a food blog, but I might have to just give you text a couple of days. Otherwise I'll obsess about getting the right food and the right pictures and I'll never get the posts written.

So, back to the topic - what is healthy?

We are bombarded with advertising that promises us health. It comes from drug companies, vitamin manufacturers, sportswear and sports equipment companies, and food manufacturers. It's a fact that "health" sells. People want to be healthy. They want to feel good. They don't want to be in pain or unable to fit in their clothes. So they are willing to spend money to attain "health."

But what is health? Is it being skinny? I don't think so. There have been some people who were really skinny just before they died. That's called starvation.

Is it being buff and fit? Again, some athletic people have made really muscly corpses. It's possible to kill yourself with exercise or steroid use.

I define health as having everything in the body working optimally, the way God created it to be. 

So, how do you get healthy? Is that something that you take a pill (or a handful of pills) to achieve? Do you  become healthy by buying gadgets to shake, melt, or pummel your fat into submission? Or is healthy obsessing over every bite that goes into your mouth and exercising three hours a day? The answer? I don't know. If I knew the answers, I could write the definitive book, go on Oprah, and become a gazillionaire within a week.

I do, however, know a few things that I believe to be true. If you'd like to join me on my journey toward a healthier lifestyle, keep reading. If not, check back now and then as I'll still have some evil desserts to post. I still bake treats to give away.

Changing your lifestyle, if it's going to work long-term, is a matter of baby steps. If you try to do it all at once, you'll fall and fail.  But changes that can be gradually incorporated aren't as painful and are more likely to be lasting.

A big part of health is being aware of what you put into your body. Your body really is the sum total of what you put into it. You have to give it the right kind of fuel, or it won't work properly. You wouldn't pour Diet Coke into your car's gas tank and expect it to run well. In the same way, putting garbage into your body will eventually break something in your body.

So Baby Step #1 is to change you salt. Get rid of the table salt that's in your cupboard and start using sea salt. It comes with bonus minerals and is easier for your body to deal with than the stuff that's extremely processed. (Here's a nice article about why you should use sea salt rather than processed salt.) You don't have to buy Fleur de Sel (which is wonderful as a finishing salt to sprinkle on top of your food, but pricey), just a sea salt that's available in the grocery store will do.

There, wasn't that easy? Hopefully within the week I'll get back to you with baby step #2. In the meantime, enjoy life - it is a gift!

What To Eat

One of the hardest parts about going grain-free is menu planning. I'm such a creature of habit that it's hard for me to think outside of my standard menu go-to's: hamburgers, tacos, and pizza.

Pizza is particularly hard as we've had a tradition in our house of having pizza every Saturday night.  Ever since I learned how to make a good pizza dough, we've had pizza and a show on Saturdays. We had pizza with Star Trek- The Next Generation. We had pizza with The New Adventures of Lois and Clark. And now we have pizza with whatever we've Tivo'd (that's a verb, right?) You can see that pizza is firmly entrenched in our family culture.

So after our initial foray into grain-free eating, we approached the coming weekend with dismay. No pizza? How's that supposed to work? What do other people eat on Saturday? And what do they eat on Sundays after church with football? You have to have cold pizza for lunch! I think that's like the 11th commandment or something.

It was my grown daughter who came to our rescue. She offered up her recipe that gives full pizza pleasure without grains - pizza in chili. It's an interesting concept - take a bowl of chili and stuff all of your favorite pizza toppings into it, smother it with cheese, and enjoy it with abandon (or with a bottle of wine). It was a hit! You can easily make it to suit your tastes and preferences by changing up the toppings. And really, you don't have to wait until Saturday to have it; that's just us.

Pizza Chili

1 Tbsp olive oil
1 green bell pepper, diced
1 small onion, diced
1 clove of garlic, minced

1 lb. ground turkey, chicken, or beef

1 lb. spicy Italian sausage, sliced (optional)

1 15 oz. can tomato sauce
1 cup marinara sauce
1 28 oz diced tomatoes
1 16 ox can kidney beans, drained and rinsed

Favorite pizza toppings (olives, mushrooms, pineapple, ham, pepperoni, etc.)
sea salt, basil, oregano, thyme (to taste)
Grated mozzarella cheese

1- In a large pot, cook the bell peppers, onions, and garlic in the olive oil until they begin to sweat. Add the ground meat  (and optional sausage, if using) and cook until browned.

2- Stir in the tomato sauce, marinara sauce, diced tomatoes, kidney beans, pizza toppings, and spices. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat; simmer uncovered for about 30 minutes or until chili reaches desired thickness. If it is too thick, add water.

3- Reduce heat and serve in bowls, topped with mozzarella cheese (optional but strongly suggested!).

What's New

It's strange how some arbitrary things become meaningful. Birthdays that end in zero have much more importance than the rest of the decade. Anniversaries that are divisible by 5 are held in higher esteem than the others. And buying a new calendar makes us feel that somehow there's a new start; everything's new, fresh, and open to reinvention.

One of the things I've been reinventing is our diet. I'm constantly tinkering to see what will help us all be our healthiest. This past Christmas we spent passing the flu around like a White Elephant gift being regifted over and over. We were sick of being sick! So my family didn't grumble too much when I informed them that we were going to be trying something new - going grain-free and sugar-free.

Shocked? I know, me too!

How's it going? Well, it's been interesting. The refrigerator has been fairly bare as I try to figure out what we can eat in place of what we used to eat. Snacks, treats, and meals are all impacted. Empty are the bread drawer and the cookie jar. This is a hardship for the family of the Cookie Baker and former Bread Baking Babe.

My husband's standard lunch is a sandwich and some sort of chips. Well, that's not working out. Take away the bread and chips and you're left with... well ... stuff piled on a plate.

I've figured out that the job of grains is to:

   1- Define portions. A taco is clearly one serving; remove the taco shells and you've just got a big taco salad.
   2- Provide transportation for the meat. Ever try to eat a big double decker hamburger with all the trimmings sans buns? Sloppy mess. Speaking of which, what's a Sloppy Joe with buns? Stew!
   3- Act as a filler. If you eat a bowl of rice with your stir fry, you only eat 1/4 as much of the stir fry, so it stretches further and is more economical.

Once of the hardest things to do without has been bread. No sandwiches. No toast. Nothing to sop up the egg yolk from the morning fried egg. :-(

I realized something had to give when we were at the grocery store and the bread aisle just about did us in. Rolls, loaves, wraps, pitas, and bagels. Ahhh, bagels.....  So I went home and searched one of my favorite sites for special dietary needs,  The Spunky Coconut. I found just what I was looking for - a bread that would be safe for out new diet. I had some pumpkin puree in the fridge leftover from a holiday flurry of pumpkin smoothies and whipped up a loaf.

I wish that I had taken a picture to share with you of my son's happy face when he saw there was bread he was allowed to have. We demolished the loaf in a day and he anxiously asked if I had any more pumpkin puree.

Pumpkin Bread

 - adapted from The Spunky Coconut


1 cup pumpkin puree
4 eggs at room temperature*
1/3 cup coconut sugar (which is low glycemic index)
3 Tbsp liquified coconut oil**
1/4 tsp vanilla creme liquid stevia
1/2 tsp sea salt
2 tsp cinnamon
2 tsp pumpkin pie spice
1/4 cup tapioca flour
1/2 cup coconut flour, sifted (don't skip the sifting!)
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
1/2 cup raisins

1- Preheat oven to 350 deg. F. Line the bottom of a loaf pan with parchment paper and grease the pan.

2- Place all of the ingredients into a large bowl. Beat with an electric mixer. (One advantage of baking gluten-free is that you don't have to worry about over-mixing and getting a tough product.)

3- Scoop the batter into the loaf pan, smoothing it to make an even loaf.

4- Bake for about 50 minutes. Remove from oven and let rest in pan for 5 minutes then remove from pan and allow to cool on a cooling rack.

Serve with butter or cream cheese.

*If the eggs are cold, it will cause the coconut oil to harden. To bring refrigerated eggs to room temperature, float them in a bowl of warm water for about 5 minutes.

** To liquify the coconut oil, spoon it into a small, heatproof bowl and set that in a larger bowl of very warm water.

Happy New Year!

Can it be that another year has already whizzed past? It's been a busy year. Between baking, homeschooling, vacationing, hosting cooking camps, and watching my granddaughter grow up, I haven't been posting nearly as much as I would've liked to. I'm not making a resolution of it, but I will try to be a bit more consistent in the coming year.

So here's a toast to the year gone by and the one yet to come. May the joy increase, the inevitable pains be productive, the lessons be learned quickly, and the calories not count.

I'm toasting with a glass of the best eggnog I've ever had. I've never been a big fan of egg nog. My family always got excited when the cartons showed up in the grocery store and I would buy it for them. But the gloopy texture and the odd taste didn't please my palate, so I'd pass.

But this fall a friend told me about his family's tradition of making eggnog. More specifically, Gramma made the egg nog. A gallon at a time. Every Christmas. Even on vacation.

He related how one Christmas the extended family was on vacation together in Mexico and it just wouldn't be Christmas without Gramma's eggnog. So they hiked into to town to buy the supplies for a gallon of eggnog. After hiking back with their burdens, Gramma put together the splendid libation, and they took turns stirring it for the 40-50 minutes needed to thicken it. Then it needed to sit in the refrigerator overnight to let the flavors meld. Having nothing else on hand, she poured the eggnog back into the plastic jugs that had held the milk.

The next morning, arriving back after some frolic time, they were appalled that the jugs were empty and in the garbage can. The cleaning crew told them they'd thrown the milk away since it had obviously gone bad. Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Back to town. More supplies. More stirring. Then after more chilling, the cleaners held at bay, Christmas was back on. There was eggnog at last!

If the eggnog was worth that kind of perseverance, I just had to try. And, yes, it's worth it. Light, delicious, frothy, and not overly sweet. One small glass is never enough. I've become an eggnog fan!

You could make the recipe as written, but then you'll probably kick yourself and say, "Why didn't I make more??" If you want a whole gallon, multiply the recipe by 4.

I used raw, whole milk and farm fresh eggs from healthy chickens. If you are uneasy about using raw egg whites, you can substitute powdered egg whites for that. And if you are not comfortable pouring rum into your eggnog, you can use rum flavoring (which is alcoholic, too). If there are kids at your gathering, you can put the rum on the side so adults can add their own to taste. And if anyone dislikes nutmeg, putting it on the side accommodates their tastes as well.

Gramma Jane's Famous Eggnog 
 - adapted from Better Homes and Gardens New Cookbook, 1968 Edition
  serves 6 to 8

1/3 cup sugar
2 eggs, separated
1/4 tsp salt
4 cups whole milk
3 Tbsp sugar
1 tsp vanilla
Rum to taste
Freshly ground nutmeg to taste
1/2 cup whipping cream (optional)

1- In a large saucepan beat the 1/3 cup sugar and the egg yolks. Add salt. Stir in the milk.

2- Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until mixture coats a spoon. It will not be as thick as a custard. (I timed it while making a gallon. This took about 50 minutes. Taking turns stirring is a good way to make it easier.)

3- Pour this mixture into a medium mixing bowl and set that into an ice bath to speed the cooling. Stir occasionally as it cools.

4- When the mixture is cooled, beat the egg whites until foamy. With the mixer going, gradually add the 3 Tbsp sugar, beating until soft peaks form (when you pull the beater out of the egg whites, they should make little mountains that floomp over at the tip).

5- Add the beaten egg whites to the custard and mix thoroughly. Add the vanilla, rum (unless you'll be serving it on the side), and nutmeg. Chill 3 or 4 hours.

6- Pour the eggnog into a punch bowl or cups. Dot with dollops of whipped cream and add a dash of freshly grated nutmeg.

Thank you Jane for sharing the recipe.

Christmas Crack

It's been 4 years now since I shared on my blog the perilous substance known as Killer Crack Peanut Butter Fudge. I've been strong and resisted the temptation to make it for quite a while now, but I've gotten some terrific comments from readers who have. My favorite was this:

This is the fudge my husband rebukes, the way any good evangelical man rebukes sin, fearing and secretly lusting after it. He literally carries plates of this stuff to the neighbors so that it will not dwell under his roof, or on his waist. And yet I keep making it. The making AND the rebuking; a weird holiday tradition now.

Yes, I am all about holiday traditions and keeping it festive for my readers. With that goal in mind, I present to you my latest concoction, Chocolate Caramel Pretzel Crack. This is the evil cousin of the Killer Crack Peanut Butter Fudge. It's pretty simple to make, and yet it's irresistible. And once you've tried it, you are helpless; you simply must go back for more. And more. And....well, you get the picture.

What is it, you ask? A layer of pretzels, a layer of caramel, a layer of chocolate, and then a sprinkling of Crack. And by crack I mean sea salt. Either chunks or flakes will do, just so long as you get a nice hit of salt with every sweet, sticky, gooey, chocolatey, crunchy bite. It's seriously amazing.

 I've made it three times now. The first time was just playing around with the idea, the second time was refining it and the third time was because the second pan went so fast I didn't take any pictures! And the third pan has been cut up and put into containers to be given away because I don't want my family to be in such a carb coma that they can't open presents on Christmas. But I'd better get those containers out the door quickly, or else certain unnamed family members might "accidentally" happen to pry open a container (even if it's already in a sealed box ready to be mailed) and "accidentally" fall face first into it. Not pointing fingers or naming names. I don't want to spoil Christmas. I'm just saying it's a possibility.

 
If you're looking for the ultimate last minute gift, the perfect hostess present, or just a decadent treat for your co-workers or yourself, this is it. Go buy some pretzels, cream, and chocolate and in a couple of hours (you can wait for the chocolate to set up, can't you?) you can be in serious salty-sweet heaven.


Chocolate Caramel Pretzel Crack


8 oz. pretzels
1 cup heavy cream
5 Tbsp unsalted butter
1 tsp sea salt
1/4 cup water
1-1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup light corn syrup
1 lb. good milk chocolate, chopped
Sea salt (Fleur de Sel or Maldon Sea Salt are good choices)



1- Line a jelly roll pan (10-1/2 x 15-1/2-inches) with parchment paper and butter the paper. (Mine is a seasoned stoneware pan, so I skipped the parchment paper.)

2- Spread the pretzels in an even layer in the pan. Break up a few pretzels to fill in gaps as needed.

3- In a small saucepan combine the cream, butter, and salt. Bring to a boil over medium heat and remove from the heat. Set it aside.

4- In a large saucepan combine the water, sugar, and corn syrup. Stir gently just to combine. Be careful to not splash the sugar crystals up onto the sides of the pan. Cover the pan and bring to a simmer over medium-high heat. The steam from the simmering will help to wash any errant sugar crystals from the sides of the pan.

5- When the sugar is dissolved, remove the lid from the pan. Continue simmering until the liquid turns a golden caramel color. If your liquid is getting dark in one area and not in another, DO NOT STIR. You can pick up the pan and gently shake it side to side the even out the color.

6- When the liquid is golden caramel color, add the cream mixture and stir. The mixture will bubble up, so be careful. Simmer and stir with a clean wooden spoon until a candy thermometer in the mixture reaches 248 deg. F, approximately 15 min.

7- Pour the caramel over the pretzels evenly.

8- After the caramel has set, melt the chocolate in the top of a double boiler. For a prettier presentation, you can temper the chocolate. (I was attempting to temper the chocolate, but got distracted, so it didn't go well, hence the artistic swirliness of the chocolate. If that happens to you, don't worry. People will think you went to an extra effort to get those swirls, so if they compliment you, just say thank you.)

9 - Spread the melted chocolate evenly over the caramel layer.

10- Sprinkle sea salt sparsely over the top of the chocolate layer.

11- When the chocolate has set up but not hardened, use a pizza cutter or a knife to cut it into squares.