Because the summer was so very warm and humid and because I was shaped approximately like a garden shed, I bought a bathing suit. I wasn't willing to go to a trendy maternity boutique and buy something to show off a pregnant woman's curves because, a) I had zero monies and b) I didn't want to ever go through this again so I saw no point in "investing" in a cute suit. So I went to the thrift store.
Thrift stores are awesome. For a bargain price, you can find just about anything. I say just about, because a stylish maternity swimsuit is one of the few things you cannot find at a thrift store. What I found, and bought, was atrocious. It was big. It was black. If a bathing suit and a burkha mated, this is what their child would look like. But I wore it because it covered my grotesquely swollen belly and allowed a breeze to caress my legs. Not in public, though. There are laws about that kind of thing!
Once home, I inflated the pool, stopping frequently to gasp for air and grab for the stitch in my side (I say "grab for" because it was tough to locate what had formerly been my side. ) When it was as taut as it was going to get with my limited lung capacity, I put the hose in it to fill it up. My son, eyes shining with excitement had his swimmy shorts on, ready for the treat of a backyard pool.
Oh, poor boy! His hopes were dashed when I sat in the pool. Between me and my gestating watermelon, there was no room for him! Well, we took turns. But my turns were longer. And when I forced him to take a nap, I'd spend the time in the pool, like a majestically anchored sailing vessel. Or a beached whale.
Thank heavens for that pool! It allowed me to get through that pregnancy. And if I hadn't endured, I wouldn't have the beautiful daughter that I have now, and she wouldn't have the amazing daughter that she has!
My granddaughter just turned two. Time certainly flies. We celebrated with presents, balloons, and cake. I'll share with you the recipe for the delicious grain-free cake that my daughter made. You can share it with your favorite pregnant lady. And remind her that the time is short, she'll get through, and if all else fails, there's inflatable pools.
Happy birthday to my sweeties!
Raspberry Grain-Free Birthday Cake
- adapted from Cooking With Coconut Flour by Bruce Fife, ND
makes a 8 or 9-inch 2-layer cake
1/2 cup butter, melted
3/4 cup + 2 Tbsp coconut milk
12 eggs
1/3 cup coconut sugar
3 tsp liquid stevia
1 tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup sifted coconut flour
1 tsp baking powder
Frosting - recipe below
1- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 C). Grease 2 8 or 9-inch round pans.
2- In a large bowl, blend together the butter, coconut milk, eggs, coconut sugar, liquid stevia, salt, and vanilla.
3- In a separate bowl, combine the coconut flour with the baking powder. Whisk this mixture into the batter until there are no lumps.
4- Divide the batter between the prepared pans. Bake for 30-35 minutes, or until knife inserted into the center comes out clean.
5- Cool cakes in pans on cooling racks. When cooled, remove from the pans. Fill and frost.
Raspberry Frosting
1 cup cashew butter
1/3 cup butter, softened
2 Tbsp coconut nectar
1 pint ripe raspberries
1- In the bowl of a stand mixer, combine the butters and blend well.
2- Add the coconut nectar and beat till smooth.
3- Add the berries, reserving a few to garnish the cake. Beat till well blended.
Ah, summer pregnancy fun! I think I have everything to make this cake, even the coconut nectar! I may even be able to coax a spare pint of berries out of the back yard. I have this book, I really need to try some of the recipes out.
ReplyDeleteI bet you were a cute beached whale, sitting in that pool :)
ReplyDeleteHappy birthdays to your amazing daughter and totally cute granddaughter. You did good woman! Now someone else gets to be pregnant during summers, one of the joys of grannyhood.
Happy birthdays to the daughters in line! Great story, great cake.
ReplyDeleteDo you think I have to come clear with the embarrassment that I and the kiddy pool shared long time ago?
Oh my yes I remember that joy of a summer pregnancy ... do we all have to confess to the kiddie pool sins ;-)
ReplyDeleteAny cake left?
Happy Birthday to all.
what a doll! i must thank you for two things: an awesome cake recipe and several interesting and humorous ways to describe a bun in the oven. :)
ReplyDeleteDear Twin, I was also pregnant 27 years ago. I remember it well. I was
ReplyDeletemassive! Not that I am the competitive type... but I was probably huger than you!
This recipe intrigues me. I must try a coconut flour cake. Does it taste of coconut? I wonder?
Here's to our wonderful and amazing 27 year old girls! And to little, darling Eden on her 2 birthday.
I love your storytelling ability as much as I love your baking abilities.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine you huge, but I actually saw this scenario in a backyard in Fargo, ND. I never did decide who I felt sorrier for, the prego mommy or the dry little boy.
mommamindy.wordpress.com
I love your storytelling ability as much as I love your baking abilities.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine you huge, but I actually saw this scenario in a backyard in Fargo, ND. I never did decide who I felt sorrier for, the prego mommy or the dry little boy.
mommamindy.wordpress.com
I enjoyed reading your story. This is really a very pretty cake and I am sure it is delicious. Nothing beats being able to bake for your family. Your granddaughter is such a beauty!
ReplyDeleteI cannot stop laughing. What a wonderful story!
ReplyDeleteBut I'm not laughing at that raspberry cake. No. I'm too busy drooling.
LOL, loved your story, especially the line about 'if a bathing suit and a burkha mated, this is what their child would look like'! And yes, the thrift store is where my maternity clothes came from, too. I have a grown late summer baby, too, so I remember the drill.
ReplyDelete