The Taxman Cometh

The house I grew up in was very old and my bedroom was nestled up under the roof. The walls slanted up with the roofline, making it very difficult to put up cool posters, and there was a walk-in closet, which wasn't nearly as impressive as it sounds. It was an angled, odd-shaped little cubby with a bar for hanging clothes and a couple of shelves. I rearranged my bedroom furniture frequently, but whichever way I put my bed, the head always had to be facing the closet door. I didn't want anything to sneak out of the closet at night and catch me unawares. I'm not sure what exactly I feared would come out of the closet, but I was sure that it was the source of all nighttime menace and evil.

All of this was, of course, in my childhood. Long before I grew up and discovered the real source of menace and evil - the IRS. As children we're told "Be good or the bogeyman will get you." As adults we're told, "Be good, or you'll get audited." Frankly, the latter is the one that makes me quake in my bunny slippers.

I don't cheat on my taxes. But I fear that one day I'll get randomly audited and they'll discover I don't have receipts saved from a business trip 15 years ago and I'll be thrown into prison and never see my family again. Is this irrational? Perhaps. I'm not really able to discern what's rational when it concerns taxes.

So, in order to calm my fears and help me sleep at night, my husband has a guy look over our taxes to be sure all the t's are crossed, the i's dotted, and all the deductions verifiable. Last week the tax guy came. Being one of the long-range, planning type of people, I was up 5 hours past my bedtime the night before, adding up columns of numbers, trying to figure out which numbers went where, and generally cursing the whole fiddly process of tax extraction.

Bleary eyed, I arose early the next morning and made a coffee cake. Dealing with numbers requires caffeine and a generous helping of carbs and I think this coffee cake satisfied the carb requirement very well. It has a moist, soft cake base, rich with cream cheese and a dreamy almond flavor that complements the apples on top beautifully. Since they are on top for the baking, the apples get almost a dried apple texture, which was very interesting. I think next time I make this, I'll try putting the apples on the bottom to see how that works. Either way, it's a delicious way to gird yourself for any difficult task. Or just to start a pleasant morning off even better.

Apple and Cream Cheese Coffee Cake
adapted from America's Best Recipe's - 1989

1/2 cup butter, softened
8 oz cream cheese, softened
1 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp almond extract
1-3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 cup milk
1/2 cup sugar
2 tbsp all-purpose flour
1 tsp ground cinnamon
4 cups peeled, sliced cooking apples
2 Tbsp lemon juice

Cream butter and cream cheese in the a large bowl. Gradually add 1 cup sugar, beating at medium speed with an electric mixer until light and fluffy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating after each addition. Stir in almond extract.

Combine 1-3/4 cups flour, baking powder, soda, and salt in a medium bowl; add flour mixture to creamed mixture alternately with milk, beginning and ending with flour mixture. Mix well after each addition.

Pour batter into a greased and floured 9 x 13 -inch pan. In a small bowl combine 1/2 cup sugar, 2 Tbsp flour, and cinnamon. Dip apple slices in lemon juice, then combine apple slices and cinnamon mixture, tossing gently to coat well. Arrange apple slices on tjoop of batter. Bake at 350 deg. F. for 50 to 60 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Serve warm. Serves 12.