Warning: Hazardous Material

Normally I try to be nice and post things that you can make to delight your family, friends, and co-workers. I don't know what it is about me today, though. Too much to do? Not enough sleep? Whiny kids who don't understand the concept of "18 more days till Christmas?" Whatever the reason, I'm feeling evil. Not just cranky, but kicking the dog, taking candy from babies, and putting plastic jugs in the yard waste bin evil. (A little Seattle joke there.)

So I'm going to introduce you to the crack cocaine of the candy world. This stuff is seriously addictive. You cannot take one small nibble and walk away. You will eat a whole piece. And then another. And then another. Till the pan is licked clean and the medics have to come drag you out from under the table where you're huddled in a whimpering ball. You know it will make you feel rotten to eat it all, but you just can't help it. And it doesn't make a wimpy little 8 x 8 panful, it makes a big 9x 13 panful!

Small children should definitely not be introduced to this stuff. It's free-basing sugar and they'll climb the walls and swing from the curtains, only coming down to beg and whine for more.

Adults should stay away from it. It's a train-wreck for any diet, packing more calories into a piece than most third world nations consume in a month. And that's just one piece. And it's impossible to have just one piece.



The only reason that I can think of that you should make this is if you have an annoying neighbor who complains about your dog or your children. You can take them a big plate of it. And then chuckle evilly when you see the flashing lights of the aid car. Or if you have a contractor who's made a gaping whole in drywall and you absolutely want to insure that they come back to finish the job. Give him just one piece.

In fact, there might even be a ban on this stuff, it's so addictive. So if you're ever foolish enough to make it, keep a wary ear listening for heavy boots and pounding on the door. If the drug enforcement officers show up on your doorstep, hide under the bed till they leave. But take the pan with you. You wouldn't want them to take it as evidence. Especially not if there were four more pieces....

Killer Crack Peanut Butter Fudge

3 cups sugar
3/4 cup butter
2/3 cup evaporated milk
1 cup JIF peanut butter
1- 7 oz jar marshmallow creme
1 tsp vanilla

Combine sugar, butter, and evaporated milk in a heavy 2-1/2 quart saucepan. Bring to a full rolling boil, stirring constantly. Continue boiling over medium heat for 5 minutes, stirring constantly to prevent scorching. Remove from heat. Add the peanut butter, stirring until melted.. Add marshmallow creme and vanilla; beat until well blended.

Spread in a buttered 9 x 13 x 2 - inch pan. Cool at room temperature, then refrigerate. Cut into squares when firm.