Friend or Faux

When I went to the David Lebovitz class he said that in his opinion some foods just didn't translate across cultures. There was something that prevented people in France from being able to make brownies - it's just not in their culture, so they don't know what they're supposed to be like, so their attempts always come out badly. (However, marinating in US culture has positive effects in this regard, since Tartelette, the French pastry chef, is now the reigning BrownieBabe).

Likewise, croissants can not be found in the USA. Sure you can find many things that might be shaped like a croissant or by called by a similar name, but, according to David, it's not possible to find a good croissant here. I think it starts with the name. People here, instead of admitting that they have no idea how to speak French or pronounce a French word will mangle the word, almost beyond recognition. Instead of just saying crescent roll, they Americanize "croissant" to be "crassant." Just thinking about it hurts my ears.

If they can't even say it, how are they supposed to bake it?

I can say croissant, but I certainly can't make it. I've seen them made on cooking shows. The thought of all that rolling and folding and chilling and folding and chilling and rolling is daunting. I'd be eating the rolling pin before those pups got done. Which is why a recipe in a bread machine cookbook for croissants caught my eye. Now I'm not fool enough to think that anything coming out of a bread machine would rival something you'd buy in a Paris boulangerie, but I'm an incurable optimist when it comes to trying new ways to get dinner on the table on time.

The result? Not surprisingly, they are not croissants. But they are tender, buttery rolls, quite good. Why pretend to be something they're clearly not? I won't have them laboring under the shame of being faux French food, instead I'll call them proudly American crescent rolls. And if I serve them with a hunk of Brie cheese, well, that's just between me and the rolls.

Proudly Crescent Rolls
adapted from The Bread Machine Book by Marjie Lambert

3/4 cup water
3 Tbsp powdered milk
3/4 cup butter
1-1/2 Tbsp sugar
1-1/2 tsp salt
3 cups bread flour
1 Tbsp yeast

Glaze:
1 egg
pinch of salt

Put all the ingredients except glaze in the bread pan in the order suggested by the instructions for your machine. Set for white bread, dough stage. Press start.

Lightly butter two baking sheets.

When the dough is ready, take it out of the bread machine and punch it down and divide into three pieces. Let the dough rest 5 minutes. Roll each piece of dough into a circle about 10 inches in diameter and 1/8 inch thick. To get the dough this thin, you may need to let it relax a little during the rolling.

Cut each circle into eight equal wedges. Take each wedge and roll it one more time with the rolling pin to flatten it. Starting at the wide end of the wedge, roll up the dough toward the point, stretching the dough slightly as you go. Place, with the tip under the roll, on the baking sheet. Wrap the ends toward the front so the roll forms a crescent.

Make glaze by beating egg and salt together with a fork and brush the crescents with the glaze. Cover loosely with plastic wrap and set in a warm place to rise until doubled, about 1 hour. Preheat oven to 375 deg. F. Brush the rolls again with the glaze. Bake until golden brown, 20 to 25 minutes.

Makes 24 rolls.